Grammar Police Unite
July 25th 2007 14:05
Who wants to vent with me?
Jump on board the GP train and let’s toot some horns.
What is this travesty I speak of?
It is akin to fingernails running down a chalkboard. Rubbing stockings the wrong way. Putting your jacket on over a quarter sleeve knit cardigan and the cardigan riding up as a result of the newly acquired jacket. Feet touching bare concrete first thing in the morning because your idiot brother stole your slippers (and wore them 5 sizes too small, yes he looked quite the fool)
I’ll leave some space for you to air your own personalised frustrations here:
Start here ______
..........................
..........................
..........................
________Okay now finish up.
Feels good doesn’t it?
But I don’t think anything can top the following:
GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN SONG LYRICS
PARTICUARLY IN THE CHORUS AND THE TITLE
I know Kelly Rowland is a repeat offender.
'Her life was stole'
Not to mention Nelly the rapper man when he wrote 'Hot in Herre' or something equally heinous. Or when most people started supplementing 'are' with 'R' (I'm looking at you Usher) in a bid to, oh I don't know, piss me off! In fact, most RnB artists fit this criteria like the glove on the hand of the man pointing the gun at the man who invented the Comma (Rest his Soul). But I can handle all that I suppose, because I don't have to put up with it, instead preferring to avoid such music like the Bubonic plague.
But allow me the opportunity to vent what is by far the greatest travesty in this area to date and one that I do have to put up with by way of default.
An abomination by the name of 'The Way I Are'
I don't know who sings it or what shit hole they crawled out of but every time I click on a friend’s myspace page, it comes up and makes me want to throw a stiletto heel into his skull (not my friend, the songwriter)
Drastic I know. But these crimes usually go unpunished. In fact, in some cases, grammar abuse is rewarded with a place in the dictionary. In the words of Lynne Truss WE MUST PUT AN END TO IT.
I had to double check that I wasn't hearing things by looking up the lyrics of the aforementioned song. Also very painful for me.
So a word doesn’t rhyme in your song. The logic that you can just rewrite the English language rather than rewrite a few measly words, is immensely frustrating and would be almost laughable were it not such a grave and serious situation.
Just imagine all those tweens writing in their diaries 'but I like me just the way I are'
The future looks bleak my friends.
Ahh ha! I see the 'artist' known as 'Timbaland' is the culprit. That would make sense. HE CERTAINLY CAN'T SPELL TIMBER.
Baby if you strip, you can get a tip
'Cause I like you just the way you are
(I'm about to strip and I want it quick
Can you handle me the way I are?)
I don't need the cheese or the car keys
Boy I like you just the way you are
Let me see ya strip, you can get a tip
'Cause I like, I like, I like...
Oh look, the lyrics site is offering some sort of redemption.
'If you believe the The Way I Are lyrics were not correct, edit lyrics now!'
THANK YOU JESUS.
Jump on board the GP train and let’s toot some horns.
What is this travesty I speak of?
It is akin to fingernails running down a chalkboard. Rubbing stockings the wrong way. Putting your jacket on over a quarter sleeve knit cardigan and the cardigan riding up as a result of the newly acquired jacket. Feet touching bare concrete first thing in the morning because your idiot brother stole your slippers (and wore them 5 sizes too small, yes he looked quite the fool)
I’ll leave some space for you to air your own personalised frustrations here:
Start here ______
..........................
..........................
..........................
________Okay now finish up.
Feels good doesn’t it?
But I don’t think anything can top the following:
GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN SONG LYRICS
PARTICUARLY IN THE CHORUS AND THE TITLE
I know Kelly Rowland is a repeat offender.
'Her life was stole'
Not to mention Nelly the rapper man when he wrote 'Hot in Herre' or something equally heinous. Or when most people started supplementing 'are' with 'R' (I'm looking at you Usher) in a bid to, oh I don't know, piss me off! In fact, most RnB artists fit this criteria like the glove on the hand of the man pointing the gun at the man who invented the Comma (Rest his Soul). But I can handle all that I suppose, because I don't have to put up with it, instead preferring to avoid such music like the Bubonic plague.
But allow me the opportunity to vent what is by far the greatest travesty in this area to date and one that I do have to put up with by way of default.
An abomination by the name of 'The Way I Are'
I don't know who sings it or what shit hole they crawled out of but every time I click on a friend’s myspace page, it comes up and makes me want to throw a stiletto heel into his skull (not my friend, the songwriter)
Drastic I know. But these crimes usually go unpunished. In fact, in some cases, grammar abuse is rewarded with a place in the dictionary. In the words of Lynne Truss WE MUST PUT AN END TO IT.
I had to double check that I wasn't hearing things by looking up the lyrics of the aforementioned song. Also very painful for me.
So a word doesn’t rhyme in your song. The logic that you can just rewrite the English language rather than rewrite a few measly words, is immensely frustrating and would be almost laughable were it not such a grave and serious situation.
Just imagine all those tweens writing in their diaries 'but I like me just the way I are'
The future looks bleak my friends.
Ahh ha! I see the 'artist' known as 'Timbaland' is the culprit. That would make sense. HE CERTAINLY CAN'T SPELL TIMBER.
Baby if you strip, you can get a tip
'Cause I like you just the way you are
(I'm about to strip and I want it quick
Can you handle me the way I are?)
I don't need the cheese or the car keys
Boy I like you just the way you are
Let me see ya strip, you can get a tip
'Cause I like, I like, I like...
Oh look, the lyrics site is offering some sort of redemption.
'If you believe the The Way I Are lyrics were not correct, edit lyrics now!'
THANK YOU JESUS.
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